Dear Authors of Fanfiction
by au revoir sim1
Summary: The characters of Doctor Who have been reading their fanfictions, and they've got a few things they'd like to say.
1. Chapter 1

_**A/N: Hey Guys! So I've decided to just write a shorter, more joking story on the side of my other ones, just cause it sounds like it might be fun. Also, I got the idea for this story from H O R I Z O N S' story, Dear Fanfiction writers. However, I'll try to sort of make this story my own. Anyway, here it is :)**_

Dear Fanfiction Writers;

When I say that there was a time lock put on Gallifrey and there were no survivors, I mean that. I don't generally bring up my violent past as a joke.

Sincerely,

The Doctor

_**A/N: Please Read and Review**_


	2. Chapter 2

_**A/N: Just wanted to give you guys one more chapter since they're so short. Enjoy!**_

Dear Fanfiction Writers;

I am human. I was born human. I will stay human. That is all.

Sincerely,

Rose I will never ever be a Time Lady Tyler

_**A/N: Please read and review**_


	3. Chapter 3

Dear Fanfiction Writers;

Why am I constantly the bad guy? I don't think I've done anything to suggest that I should be the evil, abusive, drunk, Rose stealing jerk. I'm actually a very nice person.

Sincerely,

10th Doctor Duplicate


	4. Chapter 4

_**A/N: SPOILER ALERT! If you haven't seen the last episode of season 6 part 1, then this will be a spoiler so don't read any further. Just warning you. After this there shouldn't be any more spoilers, don't worry. Thank you to the people who subscribed/favorited. Made my day **_

Dear Fanfiction Writers;

For the lonely few out there, dating my own mother is sick and wrong, as well as illegal. Just remember that.

Sincerely,

River Song (aka, Melody Pond. The Pond is there for a reason. It means I shouldn't date other Ponds.)

_**A/N: Please review.**_


	5. Chapter 5

_**A/N: I'd like to thank **__**Rwyf-Yn-y-Blaidd-Drwg for giving me the idea for this chapter. If anyone else has suggestions for future chapters, I'd love to take them.**_

Okay everyone. The Doctor is writing _like this_ in italics, and Martha is writing normally. You'll see what I mean.

Dear Fanfiction Writers;

I applaud the fact that finally some people have noticed that the doctor and I are (_not and never will be) _meant for each other. In fact, I will go as far to say that from the moment we bumped into each other that first time we met we instantly (_Felt nothing more than a spark of friendship towards one another, if that. Actually that's an exaggeration.) _had a deep spiritual bond and I know that one day when the Doctor and I are happily (_not, never, ever, ever) _married we will have wonderful_ (non married friendship thoughts together)_ marriage 'stuff', just as I surely know that one day I will also (_over my dead body,)_ give birth to our children. (_This is ridiculous, I never form romantic relationships with companions. Ever. Well, except for River. But she's not technically a companion. Just the daughter of one. So there.) _Once again, for whoever finally realized that the Doctor and I belong together, I commend you.

Sincerely,

Martha Jones/ (_The Doctor, but don't tell her I wrote in this. Just couldn't see something that diluted getting sent out without a bit of editing.)_

_**A/N: Hope you enjoyed it :) Please review**_


	6. Chapter 6

_**A/N Here are the responses to the reviews:**_

_**Essenceofyourspark- I'm really glad you think it's funny. And yes. There are some very sick people out there. Also, I don't mind Rory depending on the day of the week. Thanks for reviewing!**_

_**Rwyf-Yn-y-Blaidd-Drwg- Thank you for the fez/bowtie! It was incredibly cool. Also, thanks for the ideas. They're really good. Really glad you like the story so far. Thanks for reviewing/subscribing/favoriting!**_

_**Anyway, this idea is from **__**Rwyf-Yn-y-Blaidd-Drwg too, so props to her. Hope you enjoy**_

Dear Fanfiction Writers;

I happen to be quite fond of my grand daughter. Therefore I'm not really sure why all of you insist on writing stories about her going back with the Doctor when you know very well it would kill her. It's also been mentioned many a time. Use common sense for a change.

Sincerely,

Wilfred Mott (Grandfather of Donna Noble)

_**A/N: Please review**_


	7. Chapter 7

_**Response to Reviews:**_

_**TiaRat: I know that they don't really explore the Doctor's sexuality, but I just kind of figured that since he'd only had relationships with women in the past it probably meant that he is straight. However, I could see him as maybe being open to different possibilities. Also, really glad you're finding it funny so far.**_

_**Rwyf-Yn-y-Blaidd-Drwg: Thanks for reviewing! It was pretty late where I am too, but I was staying up to study. And it's no problem with the mentioning you thing. After all, it was your idea.**_

_**I also want to thank everyone who favorited/subscribed. **_

Dear Fanfiction Writers;

Wizards and Aliens don't mix. Even in crossovers. End of story.

Sincerely,

Harry Potter and the Doctor

_**Please review. Also, if you have any ideas for the next chapter let me know.**_


	8. Chapter 8

_**A/N: This one was related to the latest chapter, so I'm just going to update.**_

Dear Fanfiction Writers;

Okay, Vampires and Aliens don't work either.

Sincerely,

The Doctor


	9. Chapter 9

_**A/N: Hey guys! Since there were so many reviews and I'm kind of lazy, I'm just going to address all who reviewed and say Thanks! Also, thanks to everyone who favorited/subscribed. **_

Dear Fanfiction Writers (if that's what we can even call you anymore);

Spell check is there for a reason.

Sincerely,

Everyone. Seriously. No one likes reading crappy grammar.


	10. Chapter 10

_**A/N: Thanks to everyone who favorited/subscribed/reviewed. Totally made my day :) **_

Dear Fanfiction Writers;

In case you've been living under a rock for the past few months and did not realize, I am the Doctor's wife now. Therefore, I would appreciate it if you would stop setting him up with other women. Please. It's rather disconcerting. Just realize that he's married now, get over it, and get on with your life. Geez.

Sincerely,

River Song.


	11. Chapter 11

_**A/N: Hey guys! Thanks to essence of your spark, **__**Rwy'n-Y-Blaidd-Drwg, Prone to Obsession, MayFairy, wickaholic, Someone Who Wants a Fez, and the other anonymous person for reviewing. You guys are so great! Just a quick side note, I got this idea from Rwy'n-Y-Blaidd-Drwg, so props to her. To all my readers in America, HAPPY THANKSGIVING! To everyone else, have a great Thursday!**_

Dear Fanfiction Authors;

The Master is dead. The Master is evil. I am not evil. I am also alive. I do not date evil dead people (even evil dead people who I was once friends with). Do you see where I'm going with this?

Sincerely,

The Doctor


	12. Chapter 12

_**A/N: Hey guys! I know I haven't exactly been the best updater, but the good news is, winter break starts for me this Friday! Yay! So that means, more time to write/update. Also, I haven't been responding to the reviews that I get, but I totally will. In fact, starting this chapter I promise I will respond to all reviews. Because you guys are so nice :) Oh, and one more thing; Thanks for all the Happy Thanksgiving's! Wasn't really expecting that.**_

Dear Fanfiction Writers;

I did exist you know. The Doctor hasn't always been with River. Is it too much to ask just to be remembered a little? Not even appear in stories, but just to have my name thrown out there once in a while. Really. Because a lot of you River fanatics seemed to have decided that I never did travel with The Doctor. At all. This is just an FYI situation.

Sincerely,

Romana. (Yeah, that's right. I existed. Acknowledge it.)


	13. Chapter 13

Dear Authors of Fanfiction,

This comes as a warning. The 50th anniversary special may have given you ideas. _Don't go anywhere with them. _We've read some of your strange twisted stories featuring us in romantic situations. Not only is it weird, but it also doesn't make any sense. We're the same person and- Never mind., I'm sure most of it would just go over your heads. So yes. Just a warning. No more (or future) Doctor/Doctor pairings please and thank you.

Sincerely,

The Doctor (Every incarnation. None of us want this to happen.)

**_A/N: I know this hasn't been updated for a while, but the recent 50th anniversary Doctor Who special got me in a timey wimey mood :)_**


	14. Chapter 14

Dear Authors of Fanfiction,

I would appreciate it if you would all get off of your high horses and stop bashing me for my slight _(huge)_ former crush on The Doctor. I'm happily married to Mickey now, so you can all stop thank you very much. And honestly: don't try to pretend you haven't ever crushed on someone who maybe _(definitely)_ didn't return your feelings. I'd appreciate a little courtesy in the future. Focus on Mickey and Me instead!

Sincerely,

Martha Smith (Note the last name change. I've moved on.)

_And the Doctor. I kind of added a bit again. Shhh._

_**A/N: Shout out to Pliffy for this idea, I've kind of been running low on them lately **_


	15. Chapter 15

Dear Fanfiction Authors,

Oh come on! What brought this on, eh? Really? I think it's pretty clear that Rose and I were friends. _Just _friends. Seriously! I don't know how you all came up with this, but putting Rose in those … M rated situations with me is entirely uncalled for and entirely not fantastic. It's just … _ew. _Not because Rose is ew. But it's not like I'm saying I like her. I mean I do like her, but as a friend, as someone I go 'round travelling with. You know what? I really don't have to justify myself to you. Just stop. Now. Go back to your telly and chips and whatever else you lot have to do (that doesn't include writing inappropriate stories about Rose and me, yeh?) I only hope that she doesn't know about them yet …

Sincerely,

The 9th Doctor

P.S. Before you get all huffy and start going on about how I _"Danced with her and kissed her that one time"_, I'd like to remind you that I only kissed Rose to save her life. And dancing can be a completely platonic pastime. So go find something else to write about when you're bored, you bloody ridiculous apes.

_**A/N: Hello Everyone! Thank you all so much for the reviews, it was a very pleasant surprise **____** Credit for this idea goes to an anonymous guest who reviewed asking for this. And I'm probably going to do an entry based on **__**Sherlockian082994**__**'s idea next time **____** If you guys have any requests/ideas for entries feel free to let me know, I welcome all and any suggestions!**_

_**-Au Revoir Sim1 **_


	16. Chapter 16

_**A/N: Wow thank you all so much for all the reviews and follows/favorites! Seriously, the love for this story puts a smile on my face **____** This chapter goes out to **__**Sherlockian082994**__**, who came up with this idea. To everyone who've made requests I've got them and I'll be putting them in the upcoming chapters! If you've got any more ideas feel free to keep letting me know **___

_**-Au Revoir Sim1**_

Right you lot! Cut it out! The Doctor and I are not some kind of sexual partners!_ Yes. We're mates. We don't want TO mate. I thought the distinction was pretty clear …_ Listen up, the DoctorDonna is not an invitation for you to start some fanciful romance between the two of us alright? _Also, I've really made it a point not to become involved with companions since losing Rose. Didn't you hear what I told Donna after stopping the Adipose? I really don't want any romance. Which I guess you lot translated into The Doctor + Donna= romance … _Alright you lot here we go; Read my metaphorical lips: Stop pairing the Doctor and Me up in these awkward romances! They don't make any bleedin' sense! Especially not the "M" rated ones … _Yes! Please! Stop with these sexual fics about my companions and me. But especially with Donna. She's like my sister or something … anyway, it's weird. _Yeah so cut it out before I make you! _(Um, we're not really threatening violence. Maybe we'll just pelt you with bananas. In a decidedly not very violent manner.)_

Sincerely,

Donna and _The Doctor_

_P.S: I'm not kidding. If you don't stop I really don't know if I can hold Donna back from inflicting some type of harm. So you should really just stop while you're ahead. _


End file.
